NaNoWriMo-untitled novel-chapter seven

*alright, so i lied. THIS will be the last chapter I post.
I decided against my former decision, because i am really proud of this chapter. I like the way it turned out...and it has a lot of me in it. You'll understand if you know me well enough. :) Enjoy!*

“Do you want me to take you home?” He broke the silence and my eyes were torn away from the dying flames.
“Not yet, we still have some things to talk about.” He nodded in his slow exaggerated way and I was quiet again, tucking my legs beneath me. I wasn’t prepared for his next question.
“Do you still love me?” It was stated simply, with hardly any sign of emotion. I was taken aback on how to answer, but decided to be true to my heart.
“Well, we aren’t the same people as we were, but…yes. I do love you.” I avoided his eyes as I spoke, but turned to him a couple seconds later. Intently, he was staring at me, but not in a way to make me uncomfortable. I could see the firelight flickering in his eyes, reflecting in their obsidian depths.
“I have never dated anyone besides you.” Again, his voice was soft, matching the mood of the room in the dim light.
“Neither have I.”
“Why not? You’re beautiful, you have nothing to lose.”
“Thank you for saying so. I guess I never found anyone that even interested me a little.” And besides, there is still something I have yet to tell you…and my mom.
“Oh, well, neither did I.” We fell silent again, until he got up to put another log on the fire. Returning to his seat, a little closer than before, he asked another hard question. “Did you ever think about me?”
“Every day.” It was honestly spoken and I waited for his response, none came.
The fire was sending waves of light flickering throughout his den and I let my gaze wander in the silence of the wake of my words, avoiding his eyes and intent stare. His book collection was amazing, spanning the shelves that lined the room. My wandering eyes were stopped when I passed my gaze over him.
Justin was sitting very still, his eyes watching the fire. My heart beat faster when I saw it; the single tear that rolled down his cheek and the wetness in his eyes.
“Justin…” I didn’t know what to say. “Why are you crying?”
“I thought about you too.” It took a second to register that he was responding to my previous answer of a few minutes before.
“Why are you crying?” Turning to me, he wiped his eyes and sighed.
“I missed you Maddie. Seeing you sitting there, I realized that this could have been us every day for the past ten years. You and me, always you and me.” I was touched, but hurt.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this.” Beginning to twist my hands together in my lap, I continued, “I thought about you every day, in everything I did. And I missed you. But once I was gone…I thought you would never take me back, so I never did come back. And then, before I knew it, years passed and I was still missing you.”
He sighed and stood, rubbing between his eyes in a movement I did often.
“You should have come back to me Maddie. I would have taken you back.”
Silence filled the room as he stood, looking out the room’s lone window. I watched him stand still as time passed, memorizing his form, the way he stood, the way his hair fell across his forehead in its wavy fashion. I formed the question carefully in my mind and slowly summoned the nerve to ask it as I stood and walked over to him. As I came to stand before him, he lifted his eyes and watched me as I breathed deep. I looked into his eyes as I asked it, mesmerized by him, his scent and his being.
“Will you take me back now?”

“Come on, step here and be careful.” I followed his voice carefully, gingerly stepping where I could not see. He had appeared at my house an hour earlier with a blindfold and proceeded to tell me nothing of where we were going.
“Make sure I don’t fall.” I said it just as I slipped and put my hand to the ground, feeling a sharp pain in my palm.
“You cut yourself, come here.” I felt him wrap something around my hand, which was now throbbing.
“Where are we going?” He led me, pushing me onward and muttering directions.
“You’ll see when we get there, won’t you?” Sighing, I pushed on with him behind me, up a slope for what seemed like hours. Eventually, the ground evened and he pulled me to a stop. I felt the sun on my face and smiled as a strong wind whipped my hair around my cheeks.
“Okay, I’m going to take off the blindfold now, alright? Keep your eyes closed until I tell you.” He untied it and I felt the strong sunbeams melting into my eyelids. “Ready, on the count of three. One…two…three.”
I opened my eyes and gasped. Before me lay the lake, glittering in the setting sun. The leaves were varieties of deep red and gold and orange. I turned to him to see a big smile.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” He wrapped an arm around my waist as he spoke, holding me close to his side.
“It’s gorgeous.” I rested my head on his shoulder and watched the sun sink further into the horizon. “I am the luckiest girl in the world.”
“Why do you say that?” He said it with a hint of a laugh.
“Because normal boyfriends don’t do these kinds of things for their girlfriends. I have you, some sort of super boyfriend.” He did laugh then, hard and sure at my comment.
“Perhaps I only do these things to show you how much I do love you.” That comment held no laughter, only seriousness as he spun me to face him, my hair still blowing in the wind.
“I love you too.” Pressing a light kiss to my lips, he smiled and held me close, resting his head on the top of mine. I breathed him in deep, wanting the smell to linger long after I was home and in bed.
“Do you think that other people love each other as much as we do?” I thought this over a minute before answering.
“No one will ever love someone as much as I love you.”
“That’s corny.” He chuckled with me and held me tighter.
“I mean it Justin. I love you so much it scares me sometimes. I’m afraid that one day you’ll decide to get rid of me and find some other prettier girl to love and impress like this.” He pulled away and held my shoulders firmly, all amusement gone from his eyes.
“I will never, ever leave you. I am only myself with you, no one else.”
I leaned in and kissed him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. He kissed me back, deep and hard, filling me with his assurance he would never leave. Eventually, we broke our embrace and I smiled with him, pressing our foreheads together.
“Justin, I promise I will never leave you.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Maddie…” It was deep and hoarse as I stepped closer to him, close enough to reach up and touch his wavy brown hair. “This is so hard.”
I stayed quiet, knowing he needed to respond before I could do anything else. Those eyes were so intent on me, so dark and full of…love that I couldn’t help put place a hand to his cheek. His eyes closed at the touch and I held his cheek in my hand, feeling the stubble rough on my palm, the same palm which bore the scar from that day climbing to see the lake at sunset.
“Maddie…” Knowing I was pushing us both, I removed my hand and stepped back, lowering my head in normal fashion. “We can’t do this.”
“I know. I’m sorry; emotions got the better of me. I don’t like to see you in pain; I’m not used to it.” Self-consciously, I stepped backwards again, but he stopped me.
“I meant, we can’t do this yet.” Lifting my eyes to his, I saw an all too familiar expression, the one that meant he was struggling not to kiss me. “We still have things to talk about, things to work out before we can think about kissing each other, or even trying to rekindle a relationship that ended years ago.”
“I know.” I stepped back, but again he pulled me to him, right against his chest. Refusing to look at his face, I stared intently at the buttons on his shirt, memorizing their color and shape.
“I think we both know that there are still feelings here, feeling between us. We need to work them out before we begin anything.” I nodded, noticing how the fire reflected in the shiny surface of the button. “I want to tell you something, because I feel I should.”
“Alright.”
“You have to look at me though, not my buttons.” Shocked, I looked up and he smiled for a second.
“How did you know…?”
“I know you well Maddie. Some things never change.” I smiled at him, genuinely. How I missed those eyes. “Maddie, I haven’t kissed anyone since you, I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
“I haven’t either.” We were both speaking so quietly, afraid to break the air with any sharpness of tone.
“I’m not used to this feeling Maddie.” He reached out and drew me in. I placed my hands on his chest as he held me tight. Pressing my ear against his chest, I could hear the thump of his heart, resonating in my ear for an eternity. He was still here, living and breathing and loving me after all I did. Perhaps I could tell him soon, without the argument I knew was coming. “I’m not used to holding you like this.”
“I missed you too.” He pressed his lips to my head, mimicking the same action he did earlier that night.
“God, this is hard.” He pulled away gently and brushed my cheek gently. “I should take you home now.”
“Alright.” Wrapping an arm around my waist, he led me through the house and outside into the moonlight. “Hold on a minute.”
I turned in the moonlight until I found it. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him.
“I remember Maddie.” His voice was like the barest of breezes, brushing tenderly by my ears in the night.
“Then wish with me.” And like the seventeen year old I used to be, I found Orion in the sky. I hadn’t done this in years. Closing my eyes tightly, I wished long and hard, until I knew Orion had heard it.
“Are you ready?” It was a murmur in my ear and I shivered from that and the cold.
“I think he heard me this time.”
“Let’s go.” He helped me into the Explorer and drove me home. I sat in silence, forehead pressed against the cool glass, watching the nighttime shadows pass in the dark.

“Have you ever wished upon a star?” He started laughing, and then stopped when he realized I was serious.
“No, do you?” I turned from him and faced up towards the sky.
“Every night when I can see the stars I do.” He came up behind me and wrapped me in his arms.
“Teach me.” I turned and dragged him with me until I found it.
“When he’s in the sky, I wish with Orion, that constellation there.”
“Which one?” He was scanning the sky, the endless amounts of stars that were gliding gently through the black.
“See those three stars in a row? That’s his belt.” I felt him nod. “Orion was a hunter. Ever since I was kid, I have wished on him when he’s in the sky. Promise you won’t make fun of me?”
“Of course I won’t.” He pressed his lips against the top of my head as I continued.
“I used to believe that Orion would protect me from everything. I thought one day he would come and give me the answers I have been asking for. He hasn’t yet, but I know one day he will.” I blushed slightly, but he held me closer. “I think of him as my guardian, looking over me and keeping watch in the night. Is that dumb of me?”
“No, nothing you believe is dumb to me. Now teach me how to wish.” He stuffed his hands into my sweatshirt’s pouch and poked my stomach.
“Shh, none of that. Close your eyes and think of the one thing you wish for most of all. Think on it long and hard and tell Orion to listen. He will and maybe one day it’ll come true.”
“Alright.” I closed my eyes tight, but peeked to look at him; Justin was standing, his eyes closed and lips moving. Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes and thought my wish, long and hard. “Are you done?”
“Yes.” I opened my eyes and looked at him, he was smiling.
“What did you wish for?”
“I’m not telling.”
“Can I tell you what I wished for?”
“I guess, but it might not come true then.” I giggled as he spun me and pulled me into his chest.
“What I want most of all, is a kiss. One simple kiss to show me that you love me.”
“I kiss you every day.” He shook his head.
“No, show me through your kiss that you love me.” I smiled a little and leaned in.
“Alright.” I pressed my lips to his, and thought love. I can’t think of how to say it, but I put myself into that kiss. Every emotion, every feeling of love he gave me I poured into him, giving him all I could. He was the one to pull away, breathing heavily.
“I love you too.” He pressed his lips to mine again quickly, then nestled my head into his shoulder.
We stayed that way for a long time, watching the stars overhead. I could hear his heart as it slowed from a quick pace, thumping gently against my ear, his arms wrapped around me, holding me safe.

We drove quietly into the driveway and it was then that I finally looked at the clock.
“It’s 12:15!” He laughed at my surprise.
“Didn’t you know it was that late?”
“No, where did the time go?” He laughed again and tugged the end of my hair gently.
“You still have no concept of time I see.”
“Some things never change, right?” We both laughed and I climbed out the car. I was surprised to see him doing the same.
“I’m walking you to the door, is that alright?” It was in response to the look of confusion apparent on my face.
“Yes, that’s fine.” Smiling to myself, I climbed the porch stairs slowly and turned to face him, standing on the last step before the porch. “Thank you for dinner.”
“Thank you for talking to me.”
“We still have a lot to talk about Justin.”
“I know.” He reached for me and I held him close, hugging him goodbye, the tension from earlier gone. “Maybe we can have dinner again Monday night?”
“Yes, that would be great.”
“Same time?” I nodded and he reached for me again. Resting my head on his shoulder, I could only think of all the things we had yet to discuss, the things still swimming before my eyes. Including the best kept secret. “I’ll miss you.”
Pulling back, his eyes held all sincerity.
“I promise I won’t leave before Monday.” He smiled with me and stepped down a step.
“Goodbye Maddie.”
“You know…you’re the only one that calls me that.” Grinning sheepishly, he stepped up again.
“It’s what I’ve always called you. Do you mind?”
“Not at all. See you Monday.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me close again. Just watching me with those dark eyes, I felt a shiver travel down my back, touching every nerve ending on the way down and up again. Leaning forward, he pressed a small kiss on my lips that sent tremors racing throughout my body. I did love him. He still did the same things to me he did ten years prior. He still held my heart, all of it.
“Good night Maddie.”
“Good night Justin.” I love you always.
I stood on the porch and watched him driving away, my heart lighter than it had been in…years. Many things were left to open to him, hurt could still happen, on both sides, but tonight had been a step forward. And perhaps a step to restoring the love I had left behind ten years earlier.
He would always be mine, eternally mine.